Naked Lady Mud Flaps

Looks like I have to switch mine out for the Yosemite Sam ones if I plan on staying in Maryland. That is, if Del. LeRoy E. Myers Jr., R-Washington/Allegany gets his way. Under a new bill that Myers is proposing, any “model, sign, sticker or other item” that depicts uncovered genitals (human or animal), as well as human buttocks or female breasts, would be banned from motor vehicles. (Yes, that includes your lucky goat nads that you hang from the rear-view mirror. I’m sorry.)

Meanwhile, Democratic New York State Senator Carl Kruger wants to fine you $100 for crossing the street while listening to your iPod. “You can’t be fully aware of your surroundings if you’re fiddling with a BlackBerry, dialing a phone number, playing ‘Super Mario Brothers’ on a Game Boy or listening to music on an iPod,” he said. Listen up, folks: if Maryland and New York combine forces, that Limited Edition Goat Nad iPod is going to completely lose its resale value.

It seems like liberals and conservatives have all decided to drop their differences and embrace the craziest, worst qualities of them both.

Well… not the craziest.

That’s reserved for Texas (I know, it’s so cliche) chairman of the House Appropriations Committee Warren Chisum, who distributed a memo to fellow legislators last week. Glenn Smith of the Burnt Orange Report says Chisum

“distributed to legislators a memo pitching crazed wingers who believe the earth stands still — doesn’t spin on its axis or revolve around the Sun — that Copernicus was part of a Jewish conspiracy to undermine the Old Testament. That would be the same Old Testament that was written by the folks Chisum’s friends say are conspiring to undermine it.”

Could we wipe out all of the politicians and religions and just start over?